Monday, July 21, 2008
Txt Msgs
You'll notice a new means of communication on the contact us page. I think I have been fairly liberal in handing out my phone number to anyone that needs it, but if you don't have it, and don't want to call, you can now send a text to get a conversation started. Let me know what you think. Dan
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Cognitive Dissonance in the Scriptures
Two weeks ago, I went to conference with a group of friends. It was a great experience, especially participating in the solemn assembly in person. That's something that I had never done. The conference was wonderful. But I want to talk about something I realized about myself on the way home. My friends and I were driving back to California (never driving again, Jet Blue is just too great of a deal) and it was Sunday afternoon/evening. I know that people have different opinions about traveling no Sunday, but we had decided to come home that afternoon. Normally, I don't go to places of business on Sundays. Obviously, I had to change this because we needed gas. I also felt that since I had not planned ahead and I was going to be driving straight for the nine hours, I would also need some drinks and snacks to help me stay awake. Pretty soon, our group had all decided that we would stop at McDonald's for dinner. Now that we had already bought gas and snacks, McDonald's wasn't that much further from what we would normally accept as appropriate Sunday behavior. All except for one member of our group who simply said she wasn't hungry. I knew it was because it was Sunday that she did not want any McDonald's.
Now, you see the difference between me and this girl is that when I saw an excuse not to obey rules, I took it. Obviously you can see where my heart is. When she saw a need that kept us from obeying, she tried to do what she could to still observe the sacredness of the Sabbath. Her heart was on keeping the Sabbath holy. Mine was not. But even if my heart was not set on it, this is still behavior that I would normally not participate in. So how did I justify it so quickly?
Turn with me to Alma 49:13-17. Go ahead and read those four verses. In these verses we learn that the Lamanites had come upon the city of Ammonihah to attack but found that it had been strengthened and fortified beyond their own preparations. So, they swore they would attack the city of Noah, which they knew from previous experience was a weak city. Now in vs 14, we see that they were really surprised because the city of Noah was actually stronger than they had expected, and it had Lehi, a great commander, as the chief captain over the city. The Lamanites were afraid. Under normal circumstances, they would not have attacked this city. But here they found themselves, already in enemy territory and already having passed up one city. From that point, it isn't hard to justify their attack in which they know many will die (In economics we call this a problem of sunk costs, but that's for another discussion).
So, basically they had found themselves on a slippery slope, just as I had. This is called cognitive dissonance. This happens anytime we find ourselves justifying action that normally would have found inappropriate. When I was standing in front of McDonald's (or before), I had a choice. Do I realize that my actions are not what I want them to be and try and fix it or do I justify my actions so that I feel okay doing what I'm about to do? The chief captains of the Lamanite armies had the same choice when they came upon the city of Noah. Do we realize that our actions (swearing an oath to destroy the people of Noah) are not what I want them to be and try and mend it or do I justify my actions so that I feel okay doing what I'm about to do? I realize that there is a difference in the reason for action. I had not sworn an oath to get food no matter what, but in the end, both I and the chief captains where in a situation that we would not have normally chosen and we decided to move forward anyways. I bought a cheeseburger and "they were slain with an immense slaughter." So, when you are faced with such a decision, don't worry about what you've already come through. Don't think about the past few experiences. Base your decision on what you know is right and wrong, not what you're feeling at the moment. Don't be a slaughtered chief captain.
Now, you see the difference between me and this girl is that when I saw an excuse not to obey rules, I took it. Obviously you can see where my heart is. When she saw a need that kept us from obeying, she tried to do what she could to still observe the sacredness of the Sabbath. Her heart was on keeping the Sabbath holy. Mine was not. But even if my heart was not set on it, this is still behavior that I would normally not participate in. So how did I justify it so quickly?
Turn with me to Alma 49:13-17. Go ahead and read those four verses. In these verses we learn that the Lamanites had come upon the city of Ammonihah to attack but found that it had been strengthened and fortified beyond their own preparations. So, they swore they would attack the city of Noah, which they knew from previous experience was a weak city. Now in vs 14, we see that they were really surprised because the city of Noah was actually stronger than they had expected, and it had Lehi, a great commander, as the chief captain over the city. The Lamanites were afraid. Under normal circumstances, they would not have attacked this city. But here they found themselves, already in enemy territory and already having passed up one city. From that point, it isn't hard to justify their attack in which they know many will die (In economics we call this a problem of sunk costs, but that's for another discussion).
So, basically they had found themselves on a slippery slope, just as I had. This is called cognitive dissonance. This happens anytime we find ourselves justifying action that normally would have found inappropriate. When I was standing in front of McDonald's (or before), I had a choice. Do I realize that my actions are not what I want them to be and try and fix it or do I justify my actions so that I feel okay doing what I'm about to do? The chief captains of the Lamanite armies had the same choice when they came upon the city of Noah. Do we realize that our actions (swearing an oath to destroy the people of Noah) are not what I want them to be and try and mend it or do I justify my actions so that I feel okay doing what I'm about to do? I realize that there is a difference in the reason for action. I had not sworn an oath to get food no matter what, but in the end, both I and the chief captains where in a situation that we would not have normally chosen and we decided to move forward anyways. I bought a cheeseburger and "they were slain with an immense slaughter." So, when you are faced with such a decision, don't worry about what you've already come through. Don't think about the past few experiences. Base your decision on what you know is right and wrong, not what you're feeling at the moment. Don't be a slaughtered chief captain.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Mending the Relationship
I recently had an experience which provides an example for how to repent and turn to the Lord. I am in the habit of giving out books as gifts. They're usually books that I really enjoy and that I think everyone should read because of the message they contain. I slightly consider who I am giving the gift to and then pick from a selection of books that I have pre-bought for that purpose. You can see that these are not gifts that I put a lot of time and thought into, but I still think they're great gifts. One friend recently thanked me for the gift and informed me that they probably wouldn't read it, but it was nice of me anyways. We're good enough friends that it was okay to say that. Here's the story that relates to repentance. A few weeks later, that friend felt like they had done something which offended me (they hadn't, but they thought they had). I received an email the next day that said this:
"Alright so I'm still feeling bad for last night and I was trying to
think of a way to make it up to you. I didn't really come up with
anything. But I thought, he seems to really want me to read
that book, so I started reading that story, I forget what it's called
but it has "to be filed" somewhere in the title. I'm not very far
yet, so far, who is it, Kipplinger? he is introducing some drunk guy
and taking him to his house, & that's as far as I've gotten."
You see, when my friend thought he had offended me and wanted to make it up, he tried to think of something he could do to show me how much he cared. He chose something that he didn't want to do, but he knew was important to me. He thought that this would mend the relationship. So, when we're trying to mend our relationship with Heavenly Father, why would we do anything different? I have to admit, when I read that email, I felt loved. I thought, "Wow, my buddy really cares." Isn't that what we want Heavenly Father to think and feel towards us? So, when I was later confronted with sin and being separated from the Spirit, needing to repent, the story of my friend came to mind. Instead of going through some repetitive motions, I asked myself what Heavenly Father has wanted me to do that I haven't done, that would show him how much I cared and how much I was willing to give up to mend our relationship. For me personally, this meant fasting for 24 hours (which I hadn't been doing) and going to sleep earlier and waking up earlier than I had been doing. This was a way of submitting myself to His will and also showing that I cared enough about the relationship to do what I could to make it up to Him.
So, next time you find yourself saying, "I'm sorry" in prayer, ask yourself, "What has Heavenly Father asked of me lately that I have not yet fulfilled?" Do that thing. See if it allows you to feel closer to Him. Maybe the change is in you and not Him (most likely), but whatever the reason, see if it brings you closer to Him.
"Alright so I'm still feeling bad for last night and I was trying to
think of a way to make it up to you. I didn't really come up with
anything. But I thought, he seems to really want me to read
that book, so I started reading that story, I forget what it's called
but it has "to be filed" somewhere in the title. I'm not very far
yet, so far, who is it, Kipplinger? he is introducing some drunk guy
and taking him to his house, & that's as far as I've gotten."
You see, when my friend thought he had offended me and wanted to make it up, he tried to think of something he could do to show me how much he cared. He chose something that he didn't want to do, but he knew was important to me. He thought that this would mend the relationship. So, when we're trying to mend our relationship with Heavenly Father, why would we do anything different? I have to admit, when I read that email, I felt loved. I thought, "Wow, my buddy really cares." Isn't that what we want Heavenly Father to think and feel towards us? So, when I was later confronted with sin and being separated from the Spirit, needing to repent, the story of my friend came to mind. Instead of going through some repetitive motions, I asked myself what Heavenly Father has wanted me to do that I haven't done, that would show him how much I cared and how much I was willing to give up to mend our relationship. For me personally, this meant fasting for 24 hours (which I hadn't been doing) and going to sleep earlier and waking up earlier than I had been doing. This was a way of submitting myself to His will and also showing that I cared enough about the relationship to do what I could to make it up to Him.
So, next time you find yourself saying, "I'm sorry" in prayer, ask yourself, "What has Heavenly Father asked of me lately that I have not yet fulfilled?" Do that thing. See if it allows you to feel closer to Him. Maybe the change is in you and not Him (most likely), but whatever the reason, see if it brings you closer to Him.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Happy Valentine's - Elder Holland Address
Hope you had a great Valentine's day. In the spirit of this holiday, I'd like to recommend a talk given by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland on Feb 15, 2000 called, "How do I Love Thee?." He talks about how we are to love each other, especially in romantic relationships, dating and marriage. I hope you enjoy it. You can read it or download the mp3.
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Thursday, February 07, 2008
Mitt's Concession
The video where Mitt Romney concedes shows some real logic to his choice and shows that he is thinking of what is best for everyone.
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Friday, February 01, 2008
Patterns
Do you ever ask yourself, "How stupid can I be?"
Well that is the question that I just finished asking myself. I don't think that there are many situations where it's appropriate to talk to yourself that way, but this might be one of them. It's one thing to make a mistake that requires repentance. It's another to make a mistake that requires repentance after having seen the same pattern leading up to the mistake. There's a pattern that I'm familiar with in my own life, so familiar with in fact that when I realized I had not noticed it, I said to myself, "How could I not have noticed, that's MY pattern."
Here's the pattern: If I have not been reading my scriptures in the right manner, or praying in the right manner, or just not connecting with Heavenly Father, my first sign is a hunger for things of righteousness. I start to hunger and thirst for the scriptures. Not an uncontrollable hunger, just a strong desire in my heart. When I'm observant, I say to myself, "Wow, I'd better sit down and read my scriptures" or "I need to spend some more time on my knees." When I'm not observant, I cut corners and think, "This will do." When I'm not observant, it's usually about 1 or 2 days before I find myself on my knees repenting of something. I felt this hunger a few days ago. I didn't remember it until just a few minutes ago, I was sitting at my computer and looked across my bed. And guess what I saw: My scriptures.
Well that is the question that I just finished asking myself. I don't think that there are many situations where it's appropriate to talk to yourself that way, but this might be one of them. It's one thing to make a mistake that requires repentance. It's another to make a mistake that requires repentance after having seen the same pattern leading up to the mistake. There's a pattern that I'm familiar with in my own life, so familiar with in fact that when I realized I had not noticed it, I said to myself, "How could I not have noticed, that's MY pattern."
Here's the pattern: If I have not been reading my scriptures in the right manner, or praying in the right manner, or just not connecting with Heavenly Father, my first sign is a hunger for things of righteousness. I start to hunger and thirst for the scriptures. Not an uncontrollable hunger, just a strong desire in my heart. When I'm observant, I say to myself, "Wow, I'd better sit down and read my scriptures" or "I need to spend some more time on my knees." When I'm not observant, I cut corners and think, "This will do." When I'm not observant, it's usually about 1 or 2 days before I find myself on my knees repenting of something. I felt this hunger a few days ago. I didn't remember it until just a few minutes ago, I was sitting at my computer and looked across my bed. And guess what I saw: My scriptures.
This may not be significant to you, but the reason those scriptures are sitting on my bed is because about 2 nights ago, I was hungering for them. I was already in bed, so I just grabbed them from off my desk and held them close. I went to sleep like that. Do you think that I woke up early the next morning to read them? Do you think that I remembered that hunger and supped from them the next day? Or do you think that I might have even missed reading them at all that day?
It was the latter. And yes, I ended up on my knees today, repenting, knowing that my heart had not been in the right place or my actions those of a worthy priesthood holder who is engaged in the work of God. I knew that pattern. It isn't a new one. So, now I have to figure out why I didn't respond the way that I know I should have. What was I doing that kept the right response far from my mind and heart? Any insight would be appreciated.
How did you find out?
How did you find out about the Prophet's death? It seems like most young people had a similar story. This group ended up dressing up for school in order to show respect for Pres. Hinckley, all made possible by modern technology.
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Pres. Hinckley's Funeral
In case you haven't heard, Pres. Hinckley's funeral will be broadcast tomorrow (Sat) at 10am Mountain time. Here is Broadcast Information for BYUTV.
In times like these, it's important to remember a quote by Elder McConkie, who was speaking of the passing of Pres. Lee and the subsequent calling of Pres. Kimball. Adapted for our situation, he said:
"Now, no one can say too emphatically or too strongly or praise too highly the leadership of President [Hinckley], but this is a forward-looking Church. We do not look backward. We do not do other than go forward and onward. Our destiny is to proclaim the everlasting gospel into every ear. This Church will roll on until the knowledge of God covers the earth as the waters cover the sea. And so we look to the future. We now look to a new prophet who will wear the mantle of leadership and who will, with dignity and honor and inspiration and with the guidance of heaven, do things that are appointed for his time and his season that no one else could have done. The Lord's hand is in the work, and [Thomas Monson] is the prophet of God, the mouthpiece of the Almighty for the time and the season that are appointed ahead. God grant that it may be extensive and long and that we may continue to get the inspiration and guidance that come through his newly appointed servant."
You can read the entire talk by Elder McConkie, Succession in the Presidency.
In times like these, it's important to remember a quote by Elder McConkie, who was speaking of the passing of Pres. Lee and the subsequent calling of Pres. Kimball. Adapted for our situation, he said:
"Now, no one can say too emphatically or too strongly or praise too highly the leadership of President [Hinckley], but this is a forward-looking Church. We do not look backward. We do not do other than go forward and onward. Our destiny is to proclaim the everlasting gospel into every ear. This Church will roll on until the knowledge of God covers the earth as the waters cover the sea. And so we look to the future. We now look to a new prophet who will wear the mantle of leadership and who will, with dignity and honor and inspiration and with the guidance of heaven, do things that are appointed for his time and his season that no one else could have done. The Lord's hand is in the work, and [Thomas Monson] is the prophet of God, the mouthpiece of the Almighty for the time and the season that are appointed ahead. God grant that it may be extensive and long and that we may continue to get the inspiration and guidance that come through his newly appointed servant."
You can read the entire talk by Elder McConkie, Succession in the Presidency.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Pres. Hinckley Passes
Pres Hinckley passed away tonight. My family received a phone call about two hours after it happened. I immediately sent text messages to many people. I was on my way to a fireside with Elder Joe J. Christensen. They announced the passing at the fireside and Elder Christensen spoke on the passing. We all stood to sing "We Thank Thee, O God, for a Prophet" and we watched a video of some of Pres. Hinckley's counsel. A large portion of the church membership knew within hours. This was a unifying experience for many and I'm glad that I could spend it with the Saints. I'm also glad for the blessings of technology and what it has done for our lives to enable such communication.
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Saturday, January 26, 2008
Online Resources
I've updated the online resources section of both LDSTeenHelp and HelpforGuys. Some of the changes include adding the "Let Virtue Garnish Thy Thoughts" pamphlet that the Church has put out for those struggling with pornography. Also, if you go to Audio Downloads and follow the link through from the Purifying Power of Gethsemane talk to the video, the video is posted for download and you can download it through the end of January. I'll be removing it next week. If there are any other changes you'd like to see, let me know.
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